Trusting...and worship

Despite my last post... I have continued to struggle this week with trusting that everything is okay. And through prayer, there are things that are coming up that I realize are a part of my struggle. This morning was my second morning sobbing to the Lord. It went from crying from fear to frustration with myself to anger at the enemy of God and ended in spiritual warfare and then praise. It was a tough morning. But praise God, He has given my mind rest. And I will stay there as long as I can. There are things that I realize about this distrust and that is it stems from past hurts and disappointments in my infertility journey. But I have to get to a place where I am trusting no matter what.

Today as I was driving I was listening to worship music and trying to worship God. I heard that ever familiar voice telling me I'm faking it because how can I worship when I don't trust. But then I heard God say (the even more familiar voice), "Worship me, not because it will give you peace, but because of Who I Am." Why do we worship? Is it so it can magically fix our situation? Is it so it will bring US peace? Is it to meet our needs? Or is it because it is what we are created to do... to worship the creator of the universe, the Saviour of our souls, the Lover of our hearts? So I'm learning, once again, to worship for the simple fact that He is worthy of our praise!! And trusting He will meet me right where I am every single day.