Be patient .... and stand firm!

This weekend was a good one, but I found myself feeling, once again, a little self-conscious... a little somber. I think it started Friday night when I, all of the sudden, felt like my belly was empty. Silly I know. Saturday at work, I was so tempted to have the girls do an U/S in radiology just to ease my mind. Sunday I felt emotional all day. But it really wasnt until Sunday night, as I stood in front of the mirror rubbing my belly, that I just knew in my heart that everything is ok and that baby is still in there. I am right in the middle of my month between appts and the fear is creeping in again. But Sunday morning, Brad was teaching from James 5:5-20. The first part of that text, verses 7-8, James speaks to us to be patient....

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near."

Brad talked about being patient in all things, in all that God is doing in you, and in the waiting. We can sow, and cultivate, but we must trust in the Lord that "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I have no way of knowing what my baby is doing during the 4 (long) weeks in between appts. Nor do I have control over it. But what I DO HAVE is a hope and a faith in Christ Jesus as my Lord and Saviour that He WILL complete this work that He began in me. I do not know His will. But I do know He loves me. And I know that this fear, though normal for a first pregnancy, is not of Him and He is bigger than all of it. I can believe that He has a plan and a purpose for this child. And I will believe that all is well and that we will celebrate this precious baby come February. He has fulfilled a promise to me that He made long ago and I will wait patiently for the complete fulfillment of that promise. I WILL STAND FIRM!!!

Just as a disclaimer... I am not gripped in fear. That fear was broken 2 months ago!! But it is just those annoying, small, subtle fears, that once again, I know are normal, but I don't want them. I want to continue to walk in all the joy and the peace and amazing work God has done and is doing in me!! I love this journey and yet it is a continual walk of faith. Everyday God is teaching me to trust and live out my faith in him. Everyday I am learning a little more of His love for me. It is a hard process, but it is so worth it!!!