Then there will be 3....

I never did blog about our babymoon! So, excuse the past-blogging. But I want to get it down for memory sake... So on Thanksgiving day we took off for Carmel. We were so excited to get out of town. I had been hoping that we could do it a little closer, like January, but this was the only time we had together. And honestly, I will probably not feel up to walking around a lot and being away from home in January. So it all worked out. All the families seemed to be doing their own thing anyway, so it was okay. We arrived in Carmel to a blue-skied, sunny day. We checked in to the Carmel Crystal Bay Inn, only to find out (long story short) that I had booked our mini-suite for December 25-27!!... instead of Nov 23-25. Luckily they had a queen room for that night but nothing for the next night. Later, thinking back, I kind of felt like Mary and Joseph trying to find a place to stay and there being no rooms at the inn. lol Well, at first we hoped all night that a cancellation would happen but after sleeping in the most uncomfortable bed, we decided to look elsewhere. They actually made some calls for us and we got a room at the Carmel Bayview Inn. It was awesome as it was more in town and right across the street from our favorite restaurant, Forge in the Forest, and also right next door to a great deli! After checking in, we ate lunch in Carmel and then took a nap. Then we ate our Thanksgiving dinner (although not traditional) at Forge in the Forest. It was delicious as usual! We had a great evening!

The next day we went into Monterey for our usual breakfast at First Awakenings (another favorite!). And as luck would have it (or we were just being blessed), we got the perfect table outside, right next to the fire pit. I had the most amazing pumpkin and granola pancakes!! They were divine! We even decided that we should decide on a name here, but whether we really did will remain to be seen. ;-) We hung out in Monterey for most the morning and into the afternoon. It was 45 deg but there I was in a t-shirt and jeans. The sun was so warm. We had the most relaxing time there, enjoying our lattes, watching all the people! There was a guy in one of the squares doing spray paintings. He had an awesome ministry there in playing AirOne from K-Love and sharing the love of Christ in between paintings. He did a painting specific for us and we were able to talk with him a little bit. It was really cool. We finally headed back to Carmel where we walked from our hotel into town, stopping first at a home decor store. (this was our second blessing of the day!) We saw a wall-mounted wine rack we wanted but it was a little too much. So I approached a guy sitting at a desk. I asked him if they are flexible on their prices (totally out of character for me!). He said I was talking to the right man as he is the manager. I told him what we were looking at and he asked what our budget was. I think it was originally $95. He said he'll give it to us for 85. I said 80 and he said ok. We walked to the register and then he said if we have cash he won't charge us tax. So we started counting our bills. But we only had 68. He said he'll take it!!! I was blown away and told him he's going to make me cry and Sean said that happens easily these days. Then we started talking baby stuff and he began going on and on about how awesome parenthood is and giving us all this encouragement and then he turned to Sean and started offering all of this dad-to-dad, husband-to-husband advice. It was so awesome!! Come to find out he is a Christian and celebrated with us in giving God glory for this miracle! And as if all that wasn't enough.... Sean asked where he's from and he says Austin, TX. Well this is an ongoing thing with us because we keep meeting people from Texas which is where we keep talking about visiting and maybe moving to some day. So we chatted all about Dallas and Austin and he shared a lot of good insight with us. We walked out of there on cloud nine!! Pretty cool encounters today.

Friday night we decided to stay in for the evening. We headed to the deli next door, ordered a pizza (which was amazingly delicious!) and bought Kettle chips (only the best!), good sodas you can't find at normal stores and really good chocolate! We hung out in bed, ate dinner and watched God TV. It was a fabulous and relaxing evening!!

We ended our trip with breakfast once again at First Awakenings and my traditional trip to the Sock Shop. Except this time, a new tradition transpired. Usually I buy new fun socks every time we go to Monterey. But this time, I saw the cutest baby socks and decided that from now on ... baby AND mommy get new socks every time we visit Monterey!!!! :-D

We had such a great time!! I felt so very happy and blessed and fulfilled the entire time. There were no expectations but to enjoy each other's company. We had great conversation, but also great quiet times too. It was truly rejuvenating. And the next time we go...? There will be 3!!

Tis the season..... Merry Christmas!!!! 33 weeks!!!

Tis the season.... for what though??? Tis the season for what?? Santa? Christmas music? Random gifts? Debt-building spending? Or is it what we are truly grateful for? For me, spending time with my family... starting with Sean then brothers and sisters and parents. This time is so precious to me. It is a time for thinking of others. Not just giving gifts, but giving of ourselves. The gift of time. The gift of prayer. The gift of thankfulness. I am so thankful this year. (I know I'm suppose to do this at thanksgiving, but I'm doing it now) I'm thankful for my Lord Jesus who came to this earth as payment for my debt of sin.... paying the price for me when I didn't deserve it.... to give me hope, peace, unconditional love and a future in Him.

I'm thankful for my wonderful, loving husband, who has been everything I could have hoped for, and more, during a long awaited, and much prayed and dreamed for, pregnancy. I know this is not just my pregnancy... my experience, but OURS. He has taken care of me in the smallest of ways, been sensitive to me at times I didn't expect him to be and has picked up more than his share of the load either while I was down emotionally, energy-wise or physically. I can never, ever thank him enough! He has helped make dinner (during my so-far 4 week quest to cook at home) and clean up dinner, helped do laundry and oversaw an entire master bathroom remodel and all its grueling details! And now he insists on getting the nursery painted and ready for me to set up for our little girl by Christmas! ... the best gift of all!!! God has truly blessed me with the BEST husband in the universe!!

I'm thankful for this child, that has been growing inside of me. Psalm 139 has always meant so much to me, but it is off the charts now as I personally experience God forming her in my womb by the intimate work of His hands. I'm thankful for this new blessing of hope and healing and restoration as the last two years, at this time, have been very emotional and difficult for me. Missing my mom and changes in family dynamics (nothing bad, just normal change) made it a very emotional season. I even found myself hating Christmas music. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that I'm back in the Christmas spirit... full force!! Although I still have no decorations up, no tree, due to my energy level falling all of the sudden. But that's ok. I am enjoying all the lights and sounds around me each and every day! I have baked and had my fill of christmas music all day! I'm loving it. And all because of this little girl inside of me... the gift of God to me and Sean!

Yes, this year I'm overloaded with gratitude and joy... also for my friends that have continued to surround me in love and support. I'm overwhelmed by these friendships. I only hope I am capable of showing that love to others when the time comes. Though I'm sure all my love will be directed to one little person for awhile, as she transforms my life and all that I am about, in one definite second as she is placed in my arms. Oh how thankful I am, ahead of time, for that precious moment, that I will get to share with the man of my dreams.

This Christmas, I have all I need right within my reach. I need nothing more than these blessings God has given to me. Merry Christmas to ME!!! And I wish you all a very Merry Christmas too!!! May God become real to you in ways you never knew, blessing you in ways you never dreamed possible!!! God Bless you and yours!!!!

His Grace is Sufficient!

God works in funny ways. Last night when I went to bed, I prayed and asked the Lord to show me what it looks like to be a woman of God at work. I know people know I'm a Christian and over all they would probably consider me a good christian girl. But do I really stand apart? Do I really live a life that reveals something different and draws them to God? I don't feel I do. So I asked Him to begin to show me what that looks like. This morning I came into work to find that I was working with my least favorite doctor. And this is only because the last time I worked with her I was ready to inflict serious harm on her and left the room (I think unbeknownst to her) in tears. Let me just say that no one has ever made me cry at work! Ever! No one! But now with the hormones, things are just different. So... seeing that I was once again working with her all day, I was not okay with that. And the Lord immediately spoke to my heart and I began to pray. As I set up my room I prayed. I prayed that His grace would be enough for me today. That He would fill this room with His presence and everything not of Him would have to leave. I turned on the radio and what song was playing?? "Your grace is enough... for me!" I had to laugh as I sang it out loud. Then the Lord reminded me of my prayer and that how I act and respond today, my attitude and whether I complain and vent or not, is the character of a woman of God. (I confess the way I responded last time was far from Christ-like) Whew!! How quickly He answered our prayers. And yes, His grace has, so far, been sufficient for me. I feel at peace and in control of my feelings and thoughts. I choose to respond in kindness and love if any situation arises. Thank you Lord for this opportunity.

Well I have felt terrific for the past 3 or 4 weeks!! One day I finally realized that I have felt the most normal that I have in 7 months!! ... besides the growing belly, of course. It seems I hit the third trimester and got an extra dose of energy. Nice!! I love it!! But now I'm fearing that it may be over. I am praying and hoping that the last 3 days were just a tiring 3 days and not the end of my energy. I'm hoping for at least another 4 weeks of energy because I'm told the last month can be tough once again. But I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the break from exhaustion. I can't complain. I worked 2 days and was exhausted and then yesterday it started out good but quickly went down hill after church. I don't even know what happened.. whether it was the weather in combination with my hormones, but I fell apart. Sean went to go help a friend and as soon as he walked out the door, the flood gates opened. I cried myself to sleep and slept for an hour and a half (much needed). The weird thing about hormonal crying is that you really have no idea what you're crying about. There really was no good reason. At one point I had stopped, but then look up at the ceiling and saw a cobweb and almost started crying again. Maybe that's how I was feeling about areas of my life. Like there's cobwebs that need to be cleaned out. Ok, maybe I'm stretching a little.... lol.... But nevertheless it felt good and needed to come out. Today is a new day and I feel better already. Though work is really the least place I want to be. But at least its bright in here unlike the dreariness outside. I decided I could not be pregnant in Seattle or Oregan. I would be a mess. Ha!! Well, back to work.....!!!! Smiles!

Reality Check!!!

I went home early yesterday from work. Not unusual when I work in the OR, but I went home earlier than normal. I have been having braxton hicks (few here and there) for the past couple months. No big deal. But yesterday, they started while I was sitting around relaxing.... they were more frequent and stronger than any I've had before. They came 4 times in 15 minutes at first. They continued frequently for about 45 minutes. That's when everyone suggested I go home. I was already thinking this. Although I knew deep inside I needn't worry, but I thought going home and just lying down and resting would be good in general. So I did. I went home around 3:30. Of course, I was fine once I got home, took and shower and planted myself on the couch with my book. My nurse practitioner and friend, Jane, had told me what to look for. So I monitored myself for awhile. Honestly, I think baby was just tired of being at work. lol I felt bad telling Sean. The look on his face showed concern. But I tried to reassure him I didn't think it was anything to worry about. The rest of the night was fine. A couple times I felt what felt like a contraction but realized it was one sided and just the baby pushing her bum against me! That was almost as uncomfortable! :) But this was eye opening for me. I'm getting closer!!! It seems so surreal and crazy! I'm only 30 1/2 weeks right now. So she needs to stay in there a while longer. But to think she could come in the next few weeks and our baby girl could be in our arms. Its very exciting!!! (Not so exciting if she came right now, so she and I had a talk and I continue to pray over her!)

Also, it hit me during my surgery case just now.... how truly amazing this whole thing is. To think I had resigned myself (actually submitted myself with all my dreams and desires to the Lord) to the thought that I would never experiencepregnancy. And I would have been happy had God just given us a child by any means. Because in the end, its really about having a healthy child and family for me. But having the honor to experience carrying her and growing her inside me is awesome and miraculous. I started crying (right there in the OR! Great!) at the thought of this. I am so grateful! I will never take this time for granted!! Thank you Lord Jesus!!!

Growing movements...

I'm so not good at this blog thing.... although I think I'm doing alright regardless. My friends who deligently follow my blog are always asking for another entry. I'm so slow. Same with my journaling. But I try. Things have been pretty good lately. I realized I've felt pretty normal lately in regards to my energy level and general well being. Yippee! It gives me hope that I really will be back to normal one of these days. As for baby... she keeps changing. Even in the last week I can tell she has changed so much! Her movements are extremely different. More than a huge gas bubble, now she's all substance and bones!!!! And boy do I feel her!!! lol The last couple of days she's had a constant foot in my side. Its not to the uncomfortable stage yet, but always there. While we were on our Carmel vacation, I laid in bed one night. She laid very low between my pubic bone and sacrum and between my hips. I have no idea how she got scrunched down there. But all of the sudden she decided to do a huge roll! I yelled out! It scared me! That was the first time it actually hurt vs just feeling uncomfortable. The rest of the night I was anxious every time she made a move. Its so crazy! Since then she is all up in my abdomen filling out every inch of space she can find. She's 15 1/2 inches now and 3 lbs!! So amazing!! I continue to feel her constantly! I love it!!!!! But it only makes me long for her more to be in my arms. But of course, I will wait.

That is all I have for now. I am running off to bible study now for some good fellowship that I have been longing for all day. I told Sean I didn't know what to do with myself today. He expressed his worry for me that I will be really bored and depressed with 4 weeks off before she comes. I doubt it. But we'll see..... Can't wait!!