Random thoughts by Amy....

Man, it feels so many things going on in my head at once. Every day its something new... or just something that's grown bigger. But every day, with every struggle, comes the beauty of my little one, who even now, lays in the her crib in the other room, squealing and cooing up a storm when she's supposed to be going to sleep. But I guess I should be happy that she can at least rest for an hour and a half in her crib. If only I could have used this time a little more wisely to do what I actually wanted to do... my bible study. But I stay in the loft, waiting for her to go to sleep and THEN I will go down stairs and have my quiet time with the Lord. But sleep doesn't come. And soon she will be up again. So here I sit, writing this blog. (I posted her talking on FB. so stinkin cute!)

Today I visited my friend in the hospital who just gave birth to her brand new (and third) beautiful daughter, Madeline Hope. I could hardly believe, looking at this 6 lb 6 oz beauty, that Emery was once that small (wow, that sounds so cliche, but whatever). Seriously though, Madeline is so tiny and yet Em was even smaller than that. It brought tears to my eyes once I was home and had Emery in my arms, taking in her features, height, weight, hair, beauty. I was overcome with the miracle, once again, that life is, as I looked at little Madeline, in all her newness. Life is so precious. So innocent. So magnificent. (even Bono sings about this in his song "Magnificent"!!!! :) As I think about the possibility of having another, there are fears and great excitement all at once. But only God knows what He has in store for us. So I will not worry about tomorrow. But give glory in today!

I also, for some reason, I felt a pang of anxiety for the first 5 min I was there. Not sure why. Could've been the hospital room (memories, although good ones, from my stay there). Maybe the thought of being preg again so soon. Maybe that Madeline was breastfeeding at that moment (which ultimately I was ok with, but you never know whats going on in the subconscious.) Anyway, it subsided and I was so blessed to have been there with my friends taking in this celebration! She blessed me so much by the fact that she asked her hungry husband to wait to eat so he could hang out with Emery while I visited (babies aren't allowed). So sweet. So precious. I am truly blessed indeed by these friendships.

I'm not sure at all what this post is about. Just random thoughts because I had some time. (and some people keep asking for new posts... lol) I want to blog/post/journal more. But feel I have nothing worthy saying. Its just life. Although big changes coming for us Nobles. New jobs, new schedules, maybe new home. Lately... new church. Not all right away. But a lot is up in the air. Ok. blah blah blah. Emery's up now and I'm going to go hang out with her.

Here's some random pics from July! Oh! and btw... she's 6 months today!!!!!

The Little Gym playdate!

Playing with all the babies!

Waiting for her pics to be done... staring at one of her outfits...

Pure perfection! (yes, I'm biased)

Totally making me laugh! She's got such a funny sense of humor already!

Happy birthday to ME!!

I'm going into my birthday weekend. And I couldn't be more content. Even if we did nothing at all but I had my hubby and my beautiful daughter by my side, I'd be more than happy. Its amazing to me where I've come from. I still remember only 7 years ago that begin my downward spiral of hating my birthday. 31, 32 and then finally on my 33rd birthday I made a choice that I was taking back my birthday. You see, I LOVE my birthday! Yes... I would celebrate all month if 'they' let me. As it is, Sean lets me celebrate for a week. :) I love the celebration. I love having all those who I love the most around me. I've never been big on strictly 'family' birthdays. I have to have my family and my closest friends with me. I love the joy it brings. Who is ever in a bad mood at a birthday party? So the thought that I had let satan steal MY birthday from me was appalling. (I'll back up for a moment... my two bad birthdays were the two years following the loss of our adopted daughter, Brianna, and the near fatality of our marriage) So in 2006, I made the choice to take it back! And I invited our friends over for a bbq and bday celebration. And I finally had victory!! My birthday was once again mine and has stayed that way ever since.

Last year the reality and knowledge that I was actually carrying our daughter inside my womb, on my birthday, was such an answer to so many desperate prayers and was the highlight of my day. This year.... well this year is so far beyond comprehension for me. Here she is. The long awaited Miss Emery Rose. And I get to take her to the Little Gym and spend my day with HER. For real. In my arms. Talking. Cuddling. Playing. Laughing. Maybe even crying. But that's ok. Because I'll take it ALL!

This week in my bible study on David, we studied the scripture where David pulls himself aside and cries out to God.... "Oh Sovereign Lord, Who am I.... that you would bring me thus far." And I cry out... "Oh Sovereign Lord... WHO AM I... that you would bring me thus far? You have seen me through the hardest, darkest moments of my life. You have carried me, comforted me... and all along used each circumstance to grow me into the woman of God you created me to be. Not one moment was wasted by you, that you used each difficulty (not brought on by you, but allowed by you) to grow me into the Mother that you have created me to be. For such a time as this... that you have brought me thus far, through the long years of yearning for a child, through the loss, pain, grief. And now... this blessing that blows my mind each and every day. Who am I that you would bless us in such a way? Thank you Jesus. I praise your holy and magnificent name!"

So I have no qualms in saying "Happy birthday to me"!!! I'll make no apology. ;) Funny, when I started this post, this was not even on my mind. To God be the Glory!