Happy birthday to ME!!

I'm going into my birthday weekend. And I couldn't be more content. Even if we did nothing at all but I had my hubby and my beautiful daughter by my side, I'd be more than happy. Its amazing to me where I've come from. I still remember only 7 years ago that begin my downward spiral of hating my birthday. 31, 32 and then finally on my 33rd birthday I made a choice that I was taking back my birthday. You see, I LOVE my birthday! Yes... I would celebrate all month if 'they' let me. As it is, Sean lets me celebrate for a week. :) I love the celebration. I love having all those who I love the most around me. I've never been big on strictly 'family' birthdays. I have to have my family and my closest friends with me. I love the joy it brings. Who is ever in a bad mood at a birthday party? So the thought that I had let satan steal MY birthday from me was appalling. (I'll back up for a moment... my two bad birthdays were the two years following the loss of our adopted daughter, Brianna, and the near fatality of our marriage) So in 2006, I made the choice to take it back! And I invited our friends over for a bbq and bday celebration. And I finally had victory!! My birthday was once again mine and has stayed that way ever since.

Last year the reality and knowledge that I was actually carrying our daughter inside my womb, on my birthday, was such an answer to so many desperate prayers and was the highlight of my day. This year.... well this year is so far beyond comprehension for me. Here she is. The long awaited Miss Emery Rose. And I get to take her to the Little Gym and spend my day with HER. For real. In my arms. Talking. Cuddling. Playing. Laughing. Maybe even crying. But that's ok. Because I'll take it ALL!

This week in my bible study on David, we studied the scripture where David pulls himself aside and cries out to God.... "Oh Sovereign Lord, Who am I.... that you would bring me thus far." And I cry out... "Oh Sovereign Lord... WHO AM I... that you would bring me thus far? You have seen me through the hardest, darkest moments of my life. You have carried me, comforted me... and all along used each circumstance to grow me into the woman of God you created me to be. Not one moment was wasted by you, that you used each difficulty (not brought on by you, but allowed by you) to grow me into the Mother that you have created me to be. For such a time as this... that you have brought me thus far, through the long years of yearning for a child, through the loss, pain, grief. And now... this blessing that blows my mind each and every day. Who am I that you would bless us in such a way? Thank you Jesus. I praise your holy and magnificent name!"

So I have no qualms in saying "Happy birthday to me"!!! I'll make no apology. ;) Funny, when I started this post, this was not even on my mind. To God be the Glory!