Pouty Lip!

By special request, I'm uploading Emery's pouty lip video. Most of you have seen it on facebook, but if you haven't, then enjoy!

The story is I was cleaning the collection of fuzz from between her fingers and started saying 'ewwwwww' as I was doing it. (yes, I find it a little disturbing this area can get so dirty when all she does is lay around. lol) All of the sudden she started responding with the pouty lip. But she never cried. I tried to get her to do it for daddy later that night without success. But the next day, to my surprise, she started doing it again! So I had to get it on video! Don't think me a terrible mom. Because you know you all get so much entertainment from your little ones doing similar things! lol

So here's to many years of laughs at the loving expense of our children!! She is the delight of my heart! :)

Things are changing....

I thought I should probably post something since its been 2 weeks. I'm not really a writer, or a great journaler for that matter. I try, but it doesn't come naturally. Well the last couple weeks have been pretty uneventful. Hence, the no-posting. lol But Emery and I did manage to go to Big Hat Days with my friend Lisa and her twins. It was a lot of fun. It was pretty funny because every time I would go shop people would ask her if she had triplets! I knew the twins would get a lot of attention, so I knew I had to make sure Emery looked her best to win over some hearts too! hehe But she doesn't mind sharing admirers with her boyfriends. It was a successful outing. We had a great time and I bought Em some really cute stuff! (these are repeats from facebook)

Me, Lisa, Emery, Evan and Ryan

This past Monday, I went back to work for just one day in order to keep my insurance. I looked at it as a test day for how I would feel in another 3 weeks when I really go back part time. Well, overall the day went really well. I had a great team and got to work with great friends. I got my breakfast burrito in the morning and two lattes to get me through the day! I did miss Emery. It was strange to think I wouldn't see her precious face and smile all day. I ended up having 3 babies between 1 and 4 months old. I could see her in each one of them. I have never felt sad before now. But on a positive note, I looked at these little babies differently than I ever have in my 11 years of nursing. Usually, they are just sweet, cute little babies that are fun to hold and feed and play with. But this time, I looked at them as individual little people with feelings and personalities. It was interesting. It was good.

This is what I left that morning.... :(

On a negative note.... something happened at work, and well lets just say I didn't handle it professionally. I let my emotions get the best of me and I created a lot of drama with management that could've been avoided. This is so hard for me because once I could admit it and take responsibility for it, it was too late and that is the impression I left on my one day back at work. Now I won't be back for 3 weeks. I did make things right with one charge nurse. Now I need to apologize to the other. Anyway... this is a problem that I have continued to see in myself over the past 10 months (since I first got pregnant). It is a piece of my personality that is really hard to look at and obviously hard to manage (and change). I don't know if its the hormones that have taken over my body. Because in all my life, not having a period of my own, I never had hormonal swings like most women. So its been difficult, to say the least, to deal with. There are things I have seen come to the surface that I just don't like. But I have to trust it will get better.

See... even Emery is sad when mommy is sad.... hehe

As for Emery, she is doing great!!! She is just now moving into size 1 diapers!!!! I can't believe it! Finally! And luckily I won't have to buy any for a few weeks because of the 3 diaper cakes I received! lol She is also growing out of her newborn clothes and into 0-3 months. Funny, because she's almost 3 months now! lol Not too many of her 3-6 fit yet. I've bought her a few outfits which is soooooo fun for me! I love it! That makes me feel more like mom than buying diapers, formula and wipes. She is trying to talk more and reacting to things we say. She even responded to me calling to her from the loft while she lay on the couch down stairs. She locked eyes on me from that far away and started smiling! It was awesome! We continue to attempt tummy time but usually don't make it past 2-3 minutes, all of which she cries the whole time. She's not a fan. But she's holding her head up all on her own with little wobble. We have our routine down and its so fun that I am learning how to actually spend time with her.... we talk and smile and just enjoy the company. Which makes going back to work hard. But I love each day with her. She is so fun. And she's not even doing much yet compared to what she'll be doing in another few months! I can't wait! Yet enjoying every second now!

This is the only tummy time she doesn't mind

We love bath time!!!!

Next week we go to Texas! That should be interesting! So I will definitely have some stuff to blog about. So until next time....

You captivate me!!

Happy 2-Month Birthday Emery!!!!

Emery with her puppy, Maddie

Just wanted to say a hugely full-of-love Happy Birthday to our little sweet Emery! Sunday was her 2 month. Starbucks came out with these delicious little things called cakepops. I thought they were silly until I experienced one! So I decided to try to make them myself! I did and I dedicated them to Emery! :) They were quite delish!

Sunday, Sean and I took turns going to church. I had a very emotional but great time with the Lord during worship. It was much needed. I met with a friend afterward for a latte and then we relaxed at home as a family.

I can't believe 2 months have gone by already. She still seems like a newborn to me. Everyday she continues to change more and more. She smiles and interacts with us so much! Its a lot of fun! I love her smile! She captivates me!! I literally can't get enough of her throughout the day. Most times I'm good at letting her cry if she's falling off to sleep. But sometimes I cave and go to her to love on her and cuddle! I think I must kiss her a thousand times a day! I'm not kidding either!! UHHH!!! I love her so much!!! I am truly blessed! I have this beautiful child along with an amazing husband. Thank you Lord for pouring out your blessings on us!!

Happy birthday Lovebug!!

She's growing!!!!

Our Miss little Emery is growing!!!! I've been so anxious to know how much she weighs and how tall she is. I've attempted to weigh her at home but without confidence. So here's the verdict......

8 pounds 6 ounces

21 1/2 inches long!!!

She has grown 2 lbs and 11 ounces and 3 inches since birth! She is still in newborn diapers! I tend to think that she is the "norm". But I have known 5 babies born since she was born and I am pretty sure they all weighed more at birth than she weighs today!!! lol I just keep thinking that I can't imagine pushing her out now, at this size, without drugs of some sort!! haha However, with all that said, she is super healthy and I was excited to answer YES to every question of development the Dr. asked. Does she smile? YES! Does she smile in response to you smiling? YES! Does she track you as you move away? YES! Does she coo? YES!! Does she hold her head up on her own when sitting upright? Heck YES!! She is right on track! I am so proud of my little Lovebug!!!! The downside of the appt was that she got her yucky vacc shots today (minus the hep B). I hate those! And boy did she show that she hated them too! We felt soooo bad for her. I have been dreading this day. :( We headed from there to Kashefi's for lunch. Luckily it was past time for her to eat so that comforted her. Then we ran a couple errands and then sbux and to the park. We attempted to feed her again at the park and this time she was so fussy she only ate one ounce. I just held her and loved on her and she finally fell into a light sleep. But the fussiness has begun (I'm assuming from the shots). :( So we packed up and came home so she could rest in her own surroundings. She is sleeping soundly now. But it is a beautiful day and I am blessed to be able to spend it with my hubby and our daughter. I look forward to having hundres... thousands, more of these!!!

Happy 17th Anniversary!

Today is our 17th wedding Anniversary!!! Its so unbelievable how fast the years have gone by. Sometimes we can think that we haven't done anything in that time, but really, we have done a lot! Sure, a trip to Europe would have been nice... but we can't have everything. Right? Well I can say I have everything I want right now. I have, first and foremost, an amazing and loving husband. While neither of us is perfect (who is?), he really is the most close-to-perfect-husband I could dream of. He is an awesome friend and great lover. And I mean that in a way that he loves me soooo much. I not only know it, but I see it every day. (of course he is the other too!) And he is a fabulous father!! I have a wonderful job, a fabulous home, wonderful family and friends. And best of all (most recently), our beautiful daughter, Emery Rose (who as I type is crying as she tries to go to sleep. but what a beautiful cry it is!). She came as a huge surprise and at a time that I had completely let go of the idea of being a mommy, at least for the time. But God had other plans and His timing is perfect!!

Married life has been an adventure, I must say. It has been beautiful and it has been ugly. It has been easy and fun at times and it has been the hardest thing I've done. It can be bumpy and rough and scary and yet you can have the time of your life! Nothing worth anything ever comes easy. You have to work hard at it! You have to give it 100%, not the expected 50/50. I've heard that if you can survive the relationship of marriage then you can succeed at any relationship in your life. It is the ultimate training ground for honesty, commitment, loyalty, love, respect, selflessness, communication.... I could go on and on. I am still learning most of these. After 17 years, I'm still learning to communicate effectively and honestly. Its so hard. But what I learn along these years continually make me a better person. I am a better person because of my husband. My mom trained me up and helped mold me into the person I was to become with God's constant help. When I got married, my husband to the reigns. I am forever grateful to him (although he may think otherwise most of the time... lol). And I only hope I am the kind of wife as he has been a husband to me.

I love you babe!!! I look forward with great anticipation to the beautiful years of raising Emery with you. And the years beyond that! Many, many more to come!!! I wait for the next great adventure that God takes us on! I will go anywhere with you!!!! I love you!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

Its the Food coma!!!!

Uh... she looks a little two content between those two boys!

Three peas in a pod!

It was Emery's first St. Patrick's Day! Oh yes... she is Irish!! So we were wearing our green! We had another playdate today with Evan and Ryan. Tonia brought us mommies bagels and coffee! Thanks Tonia! We had a great time hanging out. It sure is pretty funny with all these babies in one room. If one cries, then there's usually one more that will follow suit. And here we are juggling them all. I attempted a photo session of the boys but didn't get far because my batteries were all dead. I think that is rule #1 of photography 101. Always charge your batteries! blah! And anyway, we didn't start the pictures until a while after they ate so by the time we began, they were not very happy. Unlike the food-coma picture of the three of them! lol I got a few good ones, but we will try again tomorrow. I think this is my favorite day of the week when I visit my friend and her boys. Its so much fun. And neither of us feel we have to entertain the other. We're both so tired, so we can be tired and blah together. Its wonderful!

3 little miracles sittin' in a tree....

A story of miracles...

All ready for bed in their pj's!

Emery hanging with her beau-friend, Evan

Cutie pa-tutie, laid-back, Evan

Sweet but feisty, Ryan

Emery with her two prospects... which one will be the lucky guy?

(Evan's on the left, Ryan on the right)

A few days ago I had mentioned that God had performed yet another miracle within my circle of friends! Our miracle was Miss Emery Rose. And now our friends have received their miracles, Evan and Ryan. Yes... Twins!!

Four years ago, God brought a wonderful couple into our lives. We were instantly bonded by a heart for missions and, unfortunately, infertility. We walked through our infertility together over these past 4 years. Eight years ago Sean and I lost an adopted daughter at 30 hours of life. Last May I find out I'm pregnant and we're having a girl!! A year and a half ago our friends were going to adopt a baby boy but only days before he was to be born, the birthmom changed her mind. Last summer (only a couple months after we found out we were expecting), they found out they would be expecting twin boys exactly one month after our due date!! We lost a daughter, and God gave us another daughter. They lost a son, and God gave them a double dose of boys!!! It is so amazing! We both spent months dealing with our fears and worries of once again losing these precious babies, all the while allowing God to heal and mend the deepest recesses of our, still, broken hearts. But God was faithful! Emery was born 2 weeks early and the twins were born 4 weeks early... on Emery's due date!!!

Last night we had dinner with our friends and, as you can see, the babies had a great time playing in the play pen. They actually get along really well and seem to enjoy each other's company. They are too cute!!! As we sat there in the living room with these beautiful miracles, we reminded each other how we spent the last 4 years sitting in that same space worshiping the Lord and praying for each other... for our lives, our jobs, God's plan for us, and our desires to be parents. And now... here we were, together once again, but this time as parents. I wanted to cry when our friend brought up this realization.

We are constantly amazed by God's timing. It is always hard when your partner in (infertility) crime, moves on into parenthood leaving you behind, although you are always overjoyed for them! So we feel so blessed and express our joy often of how God allowed us this journey through expectance and now parenthood at the same time. We are able to now walk through the ups and downs of newborns... night feedings, crying babies, the joys, the frustrations, the insecurities... that come with being a new parent. It has been a joy!! We are thrilled for this new chapter God has opened for both of us.

The best part is that we are Evan and Ryan's godparents. I'm not sure if there's something deeper to that that happens, but I feel so much love for them! It only takes a few days and a look at a picture of them and my heart instantly longs to see them and love on them. Maybe its just because of all that we have been through. They, just like Emery, are an enormous answer to prayer. They are two beautiful miracles and a testimony to God's faithfulness and love for His children!! Thank you Jesus for keeping your promises and blessing the four of us with our precious children!!