So the news is out!!!! We are moving to Texas! As this may come as a surprise to many, it has really been a long process and has really been a pipe dream for almost as long as we've been married. We starting talking about it more in the last ten years. 6 years ago, the Lord began a work in us that would last at an intense level for about 2 years. We felt at that point that He would be moving us away from Fresno though we had no idea what that looked like. There were some things we felt pressed upon our heart then that I still will prayerfully wait to see if/when it will come about. But about 2 1/2 years ago, Sean felt the Lord strongly press upon his heart Texas. He didn't know what it meant and kept it to himself for about 6 months. He finally shared it with me as we were in a place of feeling like the Lord was simply telling us to get our house ready (to sell, so we thought, but at any rate, we needed to get it ready to move out of). So we were obediently working toward that. Again we felt strongly about this. Then in May of 2010, we found out that we were expecting!! Sean continued to talk as if we were moving and I told him very bluntly that he was NOT moving me away from all our support and family now!!! NO WAY!!!! Well God is so good to be gentle with us. After a few months I began praying about it and laying it at the Lord's feet. And He slowly began softening and changing my heart back to desiring what He wanted. And I was once again open and at peace to move. But I have to be honest to say I pleaded with Him to give me some time.... time to have Emery, to get adjusted to this new life and allow our family to share in this glorious time with her. Oh how faithful He is to fulfill our deepest desires! Sean chilled a bit on being so quick to want to get things going and we settled back into life for a while. But after Emery was born, Sean felt once again that he needed to go check out Texas. He felt it so strongly in his spirit. So we decided to be obedient to that and we flew out with Emery when she was only 3 months old. We stayed with some wonderful friends and spent the week really checking out the whole Dallas/Fort Worth area. Honestly, I was miserable the first 2 days because they were having unusually summer-like humid days in April. But by day 3 (while it was still disgustingly humid), God began changing my heart as Kathy talked about the culture of the people as a whole there. How they genuinely care about each other and each other's kids, the way they teach their kids morals, values and respect as a society. I can't remember now all that she shared as we drove the long way through surface streets and neighborhoods on our way to meet Sean and Luke, but by the time we got there, I walked up to Sean and I said "we are moving to Texas!". I just had so much peace about it. We both felt it was a great place to raise Emery. Of course, I always questioned whether it was the right thing vs just a great thing to us. Mainly because we would be moving her away from extended family which is and always will be a tender area for me (I never grew up with aunts, uncles, grandparents... and I so wanted that for Emery). So back to the foot of the cross we went and kept putting it before the Lord. But when we came home, we just knew we'd be moving. Of course, in our human minds, we thought we'd be moving within a couple months. We were ready to go! But God definitely has his own timing.
So over the last year, Sean began applying for supervisor positions with REI. The plan was for him to move up with REI and in doing so, they would pay for our move. Otherwise we knew we couldn't afford to move. We opened ourselves up to more than just Texas if that's what it took for him to move up. He applied to Colorado, Tennessee, Seattle (twice), San Antonio and Austin, TX. We would go back and forth between moving with promotion as the focus with REI ,and moving because we felt we were supposed to be in TX. ...Move anywhere with REI? Or move to TX? ... Each time we got to this point of questioning, we kept having the same deep sense of peace that it was Texas we needed to focus on. But then another position would open up and Sean would go for it. I will be honest in saying that the last year has been an emotional and mental roller coaster. I won't lie. And if I'm really honest, I was sometimes at my wit's end. Not with Sean, but with the whole process of trying to promote in the retail world. With all the ups and downs, it became evident to me that even as we seek God's will, we can definitely get off track, get distracted and slow or even stop God's work. We learned to communicate with each other and we learned we had to keep taking it back to the Cross. Because otherwise we could really screw things up! lol We had our times of feeling like we were on track and other times when we would finally realize we weren't. And many times that we thought it would never really happen despite feeling it deep in our bones! God just kept asking if we trusted Him.
The first time we felt we had turned a corner, was the first couple months of this year. We had gone from not being able to afford to move on our own to having all the money within the first two months without even trying! We were starting to get discouraged because Sean wasn't getting the jobs he applied for (not even an interview sometimes). And we didn't have moving money. But money kept coming in out of the blue.... bonuses, extra paychecks, even "top of the scale" bonuses! It was crazy! I looked at Sean one day and said "We have the money to move!". We couldn't believe it! But God still had us waiting. (we also learned we are not good with waiting...lol)
Sean continued waiting, applying, interviewing and getting turned down. The frustration for him was mounting. I felt so bad because I know his main heart's desire right now is to be able to solely provide for his new family. He loves working with REI and would love a career with them. But we couldn't help but wonder if God was shutting it down... closing every door he knocked on. We even questioned and prayed whether God was not only shutting the door on a career with REI but on the whole move all together. But we knew as time went o,n we would know the answer. As it was, we never heard the Lord say 'no' to moving. So we kept moving forward, getting our house ready, and seeking direction.
Well just 4 weeks ago, things began to come together, falling into place like pieces of a puzzle. Sean had applied to San Antonio, a new store that was opening this fall. With all the open positions, we were hopeful. We figured at least it was in Texas, although not DFW (Dallas-Fort Worth). But he felt if this did not come through, then he was done with seeking promotion and we were just moving to Dallas. Well, word finally came that he did not even get an interview. This was so clear to us that it was not God because supposedly he had a couple people, who knew the manager, really talking him up along with being an Anderson Award Winner (doesn't this count for something?!). We thought for sure he would at least get into the interview pool. But no. But what followed was a process of anger, then despression for a day and then resolve. Back to the cross we went. Lord what do you want us to do?!!! Sean, in the anger/depression phase, said "that's it! we're going to Dallas! You better start looking for a job too." But the logistics didn't quite line up. I was a little relunctant to move forward with that plan because of his state in making that decision. (and he knew it for himself. He didn't stay there long) Well that was Monday. On thursday, I decided to look up jobs at Cook Childrens in Fort Worth and Dallas Childrens. First, let me say that two things have always worked against me in having hope of getting a job as perfect as the job I have now. First, I had applied to a couple jobs last fall and never received anything more than an email. I started thinking why would they hire someone from California with no TX license over someone who was ready to start work. Second, every job that was ever listed was either night shift, full time, or in a department that I have no desire to work in. I starting thinking that I would need to lower my standards if Sean got a job and I needed to find a job. I've had it good here at CHCC for the last 12 years. Maybe my "perfect job" streak would be over for a while. Well when I logged on to Cook's website, there were two positions posted that sounded awesome! One was full time (still not my first choice, but a start) day position on the surgical floor on. The other for a half time day position in the OR. So I made a half hearted decision to apply. My main reason for applying was to show Sean that I really was on board with him and whatever God has for us. (He agreed that he was encouraged by this small effort) Sunday night we had a long, good talk about where we should go from here. When we went to bed we had an awesome time of prayer together. The Holy Spirit was definitely present as we felt complete peace. The next day I get a call from the OR manager at Cook wanting to talk about my application. I thought maybe it was an informal phone call. To my surprise, it was way more than that and she stated she was very VERY interested in me and my experience and wanted to set up a Skype interview ASAP. YIKES!!!! I couldn't believe it! But Sean said he was not surprised because we had prayed the night before. (I love seeing his faith shine through!) We were really excited and had so much peace in this possibility. But later that day, there would be a wrench thrown in the mix. Four positions posted for supervisor with REI! Two in NC and two in Austin, TX. We decided he would apply for all of them. But this caused, at least for me, some confusion and ill feeling because I had so much peace about the DFW opportunity. But we continued to pray. After a few days, we decided we really did not have any peace about going to NC. So Sean pulled his name. But we both felt he needed to see Austin through. Within a couple days we found out he got an interview. I was so nervous. What if we have to choose?? But I kept thinking that I KNOW God will show us and give us peace for one or the other. I was able to schedule my interview for the following week buying us a little more time. So I had my skype interview on June 13. And Sean was scheduled for his on June 14. My interview went really well. They pretty much offered me the position and asked when I could start. I told them our situation for timing (moving, etc) and told them honestly that Sean had an opportunity that we needed to see through and we should know in a week or two. They were completely fine waiting for us. Sean had his interview and it went as well as ever. On that Friday we left for Seattle. Saturday he got a call from a 512 area code. It was Austin. I was freaking out yelling at him to call them back! lol A voicemail finally came through. I waited with great anticipation! He didn't get the job .... in either store!!! We knew this was God! We were obedient to stay faithful and follow it through. We both felt so much peace, excitement and joy at the thought of moving to the place we first felt God leading us! Our family was wondering what the heck all the commotion was about. So it was time to share.
It was a huge blessing to have been on vacation when all of this came down. It gave us a lot of time to really talk things through with clear minds and none of the distractions that we would have at home. We were able to go out in the backyard (which was like paradise!) and talk details, etc. It was wonderful having family who care about us but has no emotional bias whatsoever in our move. No matter where we live we still have to fly to see them. So they were unaffected by it, unlike all our friends and family in our life. :( (Which we know is and will be the hardest part of all of this. Very bittersweet, for sure.) so they asked questions and helped us talk through that first day that we found out about Sean's job and therefore made the decision to accept my job offer. But I knew this vacation wouldn't last and back to reality we would go. I was excited the first few days, but then doubt and guilt began to set in. I voiced to Mary that I was afraid that it was easy making this decision because we were on vacation far away from home. But she quickly reminded me that we had already made the decision before we arrived... that it was only confirmed after we got here. She was right. And I had instant peace. The guilt of leaving behind my family (foremost) and friends was still there and will be there for awhile. But I know God will be faithful to take care of that. In fact, one friend shared with me later that the Lord told her, prior to us leaving for Seattle, that we would be moving to TX (she was one that was greatly involved and praying with me through the entire process) and so she had complete peace when I finally told her of our final decision. Just shows that God is faithful to take care of every detail of His plan.
This move, for us, is a dream come true. We went from living with our parents to being married. We were married very young. And so this move is simply us moving away, experiencing life outside of Fresno and all that is familiar... together. It is so exciting and scary at the same time. We know it will not be easy. We know there will be stress and grief and times of tears. But the Lord is faithful to keep us and hold us up. Even if we find we made a mistake. Even if we move back.... we will have no regrets. Because we did it! We finally did it! We took a HUGE leap of faith and stepped outside of our comfort zone, where it is safe and comfortable, out to where there will be much to explore and experience as a family! How can you ever regret that??
So here we are! Our house is already in boxes! Its a mess! I keep thinking I'm going to chicken out. But there is no need to when the Lord's blessing is on you. And I do believe it is. There's no WAY I would chicken out now! Not after all the Lord has done to get us here. It's awesome watching how He is bringing every thing together! All prayer requests have been answered quickly in the last few weeks. From Sean's transfer going through... to our friends renting our house... to our massive bedroom set selling for what we wanted on the first phone call... to my brother being able to make the drive with Sean... to a very successful yard sale today! hehe EVERY... SINGLE... DETAIL... is coming together! Every single one! Praise God!!!
All honor and praise and glory to our God and Saviour!!!!!!
This is our life.... new, exciting and adventurous!!!
(when I chose this title for my blog, I knew, in my spirit, it would mean BIG things!!!)
More to come!!! Watch the blog!
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