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Sunday, August 24, 2014

LIFE

I can't believe it's been since March since I've posted anything!  Where has all the time gone?  I guess I can always seem to find something for exciting to do during naptime than write a blogpost.  But I do always regret not writing down the millions of things that happen weekly in the life of a 3 year and her mommy!  lol  So what has been going on with the Nobles??   LIFE!

That's it.  Nothing more exciting than life itself.  Let's see... in the past 5 months we have been through job changes, vacations to San Antonio for our 20th Anniversary in March (I should do a seperate post on that!) and Fresno in May to see family and friends, moved another long-time friend couple out here (they bought a house .87 mile from us!!  hehe), and have personally watched every single month God completely provide every penny we needed to live!  That in itself is an entire post, but I will just say that God is SO faithful when we fully trust in Him!  Through all the changes with jobs, we have not had the income we've needed but for "some reason" I never freaked out about it.  Every month I would find myself saying "Ok God, this is it.  There's no more.  Next month is going to be bad."  And next month there would be some other way he provided whether it was carpet cleaning for Sean, a tax return, a purchased house from our friends that moved here, an extra paycheck, etc.  I can say that it has been truly FUN to watch what God does each month because many of the ways He has come through I did not foresee.  And He always provided right at the last second.  We never had anything to fear.  And again, this month, I found myself praying again "Ok God, for real now, there really is no more extra money next month" and now Sean's promotion will give us exactly what we need from here on out (that story is also a miracle!).  God is SO good and He loves us so much!  We never need to doubt Him!!

Sean has done Real Estate, carpet cleaning (for a friend full time) and now he's back at REI in full swing!  He's already applied twice for manager (RSM) positions, one in Southlake (opening soon!) and one in Dallas where he works currently.  He did not get either but came the most close ever and had his best yet interview in Dallas.  He is however promoting to Sales Lead in a few weeks (unofficially as of now but we are counting on it!) which is really the next smart step toward RSM.  He absolutely hates the commute but is passionate about pursuing what he really wanted to do before he quit (finances forced him to change jobs for that season).  Anyway!  He is loving it and having fun.  I just encourage him (and so has God!!) to spend that commute time praying, listening to worship and sermons.  Use it as a time to focus on the Lord and strengthening his relationship with Him.

As for Emery, she just keeps growing in every way, shape and form.  Not only is her body growing (in its own petite kind of way), but so is her independence, self-style, attitude, negotiating skills, opinions.... but also her love for life, friends, fun and cuddles!

Her favorites right now have been ...
1.  swimming :  she is a little fish that would swim all day if I let her!  She can swim from the side of the pool 4-5 feet under water to me and, now, finally, can bring her head up out of the water but just can't keep it out.  She is a very strong swimmer but we are still working on getting her to the surface and swimming on top.  She thinks she can hold her breath forever but we have found it is not so.  SO... we keep on learning and practicing!  The last two times she has swam I was not there to see, but my friends said she was rockin' it so I can't wait to see if she has improved since my last time with her.
2.  dancing :  She just started ballet/tap classes last week.  As much as she was very excited, I was probably still more excited!!!  My friend taught me how to do a proper ballet bun, then I practiced (dress rehearsal!) the day before and then I was "on" last Tuesday.  It took me about 5 min but the end result looked great!!  Her first class ended up being a private lesson.  I was very disappointed at first as I had built up this picture in my mind of a bustling studio and all these adorable little ballerinas running around and she would make lots of friends, etc etc.  But once I got over that I realized this was probably a good thing for her to start.  As excited as she was, once there she was very nervous.  I think the one on one helped her relax and was more able to focus and listen to the teacher.  Supposedly there is one other girl so we'll see if she's makes it this week.  At the end of the season all the classes (there's 3) will come together for their recital.  But for now, it's just Emery and Miss KaLinda!
3.  Peppa Pig :  It's been Bubble Guppies for 3 years now!!!  Aside from a few movies she's grown to love over the past few months, I have not been able to get her to like anything else but BG!  Until now... Peppa Pig, the adorable little piggy in the adorable English family of pigs.  It's cute.  That's all I have to say about that.  :)


I'm getting really good at braids... it's all she wants every day!  
Elsa (one braid) or Anna (two braids) LOL
Just a couple pics with her cousins while we were in Fresno.  
(not all my pics transfered when I got a new phone. still working on that)
Here she is with Joshua!
 
And she LOOOOOOVED her cousin Jenna!  Everyday she could hardly
wait for Jenna to get home from school!

Swimming with Jen Jen!!

Hanging out and getting to know her Grandma Dorene (here in Texas!)

Easter 2014

Our friends came to visit first to look for a house before they moved
and this is Jeeter waiting for them at the door... with Emery! lol
  
Swimming with our neighbor and friend at my weekly
swim date at another friends house.

And another swim date with Kathy, Julie and Tyranie and the kids

BEST of FRIENDS





 I LOVE taking her for bike rides as a family!  
And Sean finally set my bike up so now we can just get up and go!!


 She put this outfit together... I added the jacket.  
She went to dinner like this minus my glasses.  LOL
 This was our day at Kellerpointe (kind of a YMCA family gym with a mini water park...so fun!!)  Emery swam and played with our friends for 4 hours!!  Yes we were a little pink. lol

 My friend gave me a free month to bootcamp so I was back at it 
for a few weeks with my best workout partner ever!!!  
She would run, pushup, burpee, jumping jacks with me the whole time!!  
Can't wait to join as a member!  It felt like home!

modeling her super cute jammies! 
fun times with daddy! 
bath funtime! 
I Love TV!

And here are some photos of her preparations for ballet 
as well as her first day!
Her classroom 
Getting fitted for ballet shoes 
Ballet fun playtime with Ari (and I got a lesson in proper ballet buns!) 
my friend, Karah, and pro-ballerina, teaching Emery some positions 
Emery shopping for her tap shoes...hehe 
This is what happens when you use a lot of product!! 
My own finished ballet bun!  not too bad.... 
On our way to dance class! 
Mommy and Em in front of the Epicenter 
Hamburger and ice cream after class! 

And what about the mommy??  What is she up to??  Well really its just been the same ol' thang!  Work is work.  I say I just want to be home full time with Emery, but honestly after 5 days off, I'm a little ready for a break.  Not necessarily a 13-hour-work-a-day-kind-of-break, but a little break would help.  It has made me admire stay at home moms all the more for the hard work that they (we) do.  It's not easy.  In fact, comments have always been made about stay at home moms.  That they don't work, they play all day, hang out with their friends (playdates), they swim, they do bible studies, they work out.... they don't do anything but have fun.  Well in a sense that is true.  So why am I always so exhausted at the end of every day if all I'm doing is spending mindless, 'relaxing' time with Emery and/or friends.  Well, while their accusations come with a little bit of seriousness and sarcasm added with a little humor ("I'm just messing with you"), they are wrong!  Point blank!  And the Lord spoke this to me one day (yes, as I was lounging by a gorgeous pool, thank you Sheila!, watching Emery swim)  And it's this.... Emery takes up every bit of space in my mind, every decibal in my ear, every ounce of energy I have.  Why?  Because I am constantly teaching, encouraging, inspiring, playing (very important for her development and sense of meaning), molding, reprimanding, discipling, comforting, soothing and cuddling, only to name a tiny few.  Which might I add makes me feel extremely inadequate as a mom, ready to fail, only adding to my exhaustion!  He showed me how I'm everything to her when we are home.  He showed me how even in playdates, although I am getting some friend time, it is far from relaxing as we all are teaching our littles to play well together, to share, to give and not take, to think of others above ourselves... all of which are invaluable and necessary lessons for them later in life!!!  I am raising an adult who will someday be somebody's mother, wife, friend, best friend, mentor, minister, teacher... and the list goes on!  This is no game we're playing here.  Brings tears to my eyes just rereading this!  We all complain at some point!  Sometimes daily!  And yet, we get up again, each morning, and do it all over again.  Why?  Because when these blessed children of ours look us straight in the eye, take our face in their tiny hands, and say in their sweet little voice, "I love you mommy soooo much", it makes it all worth it! And so I have agreed to receive God's offer of mercy and grace for myself in this season of life called Mommyhood.  God bless you moms everywhere!!!!   (wow! that so could have been a seperate post!  I never know what's going to come out when I sit down to write)

And on a lighter note.... Just some last fun pictures of adult time!  Yes Sean and I do get it once in a while!  We had one date night for my birthday down in the West 7th district of Fort Worth (other side of downtown) where we ate mediterranean food, listened to live bands in the street, then had ice cream at Melt, walked around the Water Gardens in downtown and then back up to Keller (our area) for starbucks.  A week later we had the honor of going out again for my friend Jocelyn's birthday.  This time we got all dressed up and went to the Glass Cactus at the Gaylord Texas for drinks and dancing (something we never do unless we're at a wedding! lol)   We had so much fun with friends that night!!!    Until next time.....

Brandon and Sean
Me and Diane
My super fun and crazy friends, Diane and Jocelyn
We like to dance... we like to boogie...!
Love this guy!!!




Sunday, March 9, 2014

Happy 3rd Birthday Emery!!!

Emery's birthday was so much fun!!  It is difficult planning a party in the dead of winter, but then again, it kind of makes it easy too.  She loves jumping at the trampoline park, so that's what we decided to do for her birthday!  And all I had to bring was cupcakes!  (of course I brought more than that cuz I had to decorate something!!!)  We had a Sophia the First theme and of course it was all pink!  One of the kids said we had the best looking table there! (there were at least 10 other parties going on)  We had pizza, honest juice, snacks and cupcakes and jumped like there was no tomorrow!  

We had a great turnout... Among those attending were Kathy & Madeline, Tyranie and the girls, Jeff & Karah Johnston & Ari & Aidan, Meagen & Gavin, Jill & Natalie & William.  We even had special guests again this year!  Last year our best friend, Tom, was in town on business.  This year two very dear, long time friends from fresno were here.  Shaun Pyros, now living in Wyoming, was here visiting Kathy, and Robert & Julie Tanner were here from Fresno checking out TX and staying with us for a week!  So they all got to be at Emery's party and celebrate her life with us.  It was so incredibly sweet to have them there.  Kathy, Shaun, Tyranie, Julie & I, although we ran in different circles, have ALL known each other for 20 years or so!  So there was a lot of history there!  We had such a great time!

We had our own table with Emery's name already there, welcoming her to her party!
Shoes off and she's ready to jump! (hurry up and take the picture mom!!)

 
 Emery and her best friend, Meagen (who she spends Thurs and Fri with when I'm working)

 My homemade and undeniably oh-so-good White Chocolate cupcakes!  I have no shame... I was so proud of myself!  They were still moist a week later!!!  haha
 The Johnstons (Ari and Aidan) and Gavin on the left
 Natalie, Meagen and Hannah
 Best friends!!! Gavin and Emery
 Gavin and Emery with his mommy, and my close friend, Meagen
Time to sing happy birthday to the birthday girl!!!!

After the party we headed home for a much needed nap.  But then it was off to riding her bike as soon as possible!!!  She went down the street and around the corner.  Her longest distance on her own yet.

 Birthday girl!!
 We didn't have time to open her gifts at the party so I let her open one before her nap.  She played for just a bit and then off for sleepytime

 It is finally time for presents!  This girl is funny... she's totally uninterested until I put them all in front of her.  Kind of obvious to the fact that all these beautifully wrapped gifts sitting in the living room are for her!  Funny girl!
 A very precious gift from her adopted grandma Dorene back home 
sent all the way from Cali!
 ABC puzzle!
 More piano time in her Princess Sofia dress from auntie!

On her actual birthday, Julie and I took a 4.5 mile walk in 38 degree weather.  And I'm sure the wind chill was much colder.  Not really ideal for a fun walk with friends.  But we made the most of it and had a great time!  Emery, as usual, was a super trooper!  She hung in there, complaining very little.  Once while on the trail, she said she had to potty. I asked her if she could wait and she said No.  So I took her a little into the woods and pulled down her pants.  But once that freezing cold wind hit her little bottom, she suddenly declared, in tears, that she did not have to go and would wait.  lol  Our destination?  Carvel Ice Cream!!  For Emery's birthday!!  She LOVED it and so did we!!


 yes... she insisted on wearing her Princess Sophia dress and cowgirl boots on our walk!

 And finally tuckered out, she almost fell asleep in the stroller (this never happens! lol)

Just another sweet card from friends back home for little Miss Emery.  They keep trickling in.  She is so very loved and so are we because of her!!!  So blessed!  

Still, three years later, I can hardly believe the sweet and precious gift God has given us in Emery Rose!  Our lives are richer because of her.  She is such an amazing little girl!  I was just thinking the other day how I cannot question the promise and faithfulness of God because it is evident in this little girl sitting right here on my lap!  When things get tough and it seems there's no end in sight, I just look at her and I remember.  I still can't believe Sean and I, with God's help, created this little person.  I love her like nothing I've ever loved before and I'm incredibly blessed to have her in my life.  Emery Rose, we love you so very very much!!!  You are fabulous!!!!  Happy Birthday Little Love Bug!!!!

We are Officially Potty Trained!!!

Man! So much has happened in the last month and a half!  But first an update on us... We are doing really well after my last post.  A lot of things play into that for me.  One being that Emery was such a huge help to me to grieve and move forward.  She brings me joy and gratefulness for what I have.  But also that after all that we've been through over the years, I felt this time around I was, surprisingly, in such a more spiritually mature place than before.  That the lesson of trust the Lord began to sow into my heart in December really began a firm foundation upon which I would stand when the storms of life came upon us.  And so, although I know the road of grief is not complete yet, I have total peace and joy for what God has ahead for us.  So thank you to all who have come along side us, prayed for us, brought dinner to us.... and those of you who listened while I cried and vented, who talked me through those dark moments and who did not quit "bugging me" for weeks on end (you know who you are... hehe ...)  We love you all so very much and so appreciate all that you are to us.

On to Emery!!!!  I have a little catching up to do here, so here we go.... lol

January 5th marked the first night Emery went to bed with big girl panties after 3 mornings waking up dry. It was all her idea and she did it!!  She began asking to go to bed at night with big girl panties.  I told her she needed to prove to me she could wake up dry for a few days (because she had been waking up with a wet diaper every morning for awhile) and she said Okay!  So the next three days she surprised me and willed herself to wake up dry!  She did it again on the second night and by the third night she asked me again and I figured 'what the heck!? what's the worst that could happen except washing wet sheets?'.  And so she went to bed with her big girl panties and that was the end of diapers as we knew it!   She's amazing!  She weaned herself into a big girl bed and now potty trained herself at night!  We started potty training in May.  It was about 5 months before I would say she was officially potty trained during the day and a total of 8 months that we are completely and officially out of diapers!!!  So amazing!  Now we just have to say goodbye to the pacifier at bedtime.  But I'm guessing she'll be on top of that one too as she's been saying more and more that she doesn't need it (but then asks for it when she's going to sleep. lol)  I've decided I won't stress about it after saying forever that I would not have a 3 year old still using a pacifier!  hahahaha

She is getting so big and acting more and more like a big girl!  Definitely not a baby anymore.  And she is smart!!  Way too smart for her britches!  Sometimes too smart for mommy and daddy! lol   Her brain is always thinking and sometimes faster than what she can express, so right now we are dealing with stuttering.  I mean, I say "dealing with", but really we're letting it ride.  It goes in waves from very mild to constant and intense.  It will be that way for a week or so and then get better.  Thankfully my next door neighbor, and friend, is a speech pathologist and has given me comfort in knowing what to do, but mostly what not to do.  We honestly just think she's learning so much and feels the need to express it quickly that she gets stuck.  Even this morning on our way to church, she got stuck on a thought and finally said, "mommy, I don't know what I'm saying".  I had to chuckle because it was so incredibly cute.  Sometimes she gets frustrated with herself, so this time it was just adorable.  It's important to not stress her out more about it.  We're learning to just be chill.

Parenting is so hard.  People say that.  I mean I heard that for years (17 to be exact!) until I had my own.  And I thought I knew what they meant, but now I truly understand.  Its not the obvious stuff, its the underlying stuff.  The moments where you feel like you are truly failing.  That you are doing everything wrong and creating a little monster because of it.  It's when your child, whom you love more than life itself, makes you feel like you are not doing it [parenting] right, the way you always said you would.  That's what is hard.  That after a long day of struggling with attitudes, disobedience and tantrums, you don't feel any more confident or productive for it.  I'm so afraid of teaching her the wrong things, creating an emotionally charged, spoiled, whiny brat or raising an only child that feels entitled.  Sean and I work very hard at providing boundaries and limits.  Making sure that we tell her "no" and "wait".  Teaching her right from wrong and why!  But at the end of the day, it sometimes seems its all for nothing.  My hope and prayer is that God's grace truly is sufficient and covers our parenting.  I know I'm not the only one out there to feel this way.  I understand now why all my friends would always say they felt like a bad parent.  I thought they were crazy because I could see, from the outside looking in, how amazing they were actually doing!  I hope it is the same for me.  I do have friends tell me so, so I hang on that!  :)  Okay... so that's my rant for the day on serious stuff.  Just had to get that off my chest.  :)
Just some random pics from January!
 The afternoon after my procedure!  My little angel getting me through!
We went to Ikea the day after my procedure.  Not such a great idea but it was still good to get out and spend time as a family. 
 Filling up the Fish Pond
 Drinking her green berry smoothie! Yum!
 She is seriously the cutest sleeper!!!
 Goofy girl!
Just hangin in the backyard with mom on a rare, warm winter day







Sunday, January 12, 2014

"Just Trust Me"

This past month everything in our life has really come to a head.  It has been such a huge lesson of trust and faith for us.  We have had so many things going on at once.  And even now, as I attempt to write this before I forget, my mind is fogged by grief, and I don't know where to begin.  

To list a few, our house has been on the market since the middle of October and we had no hope in sight.  So many questions and we knew we had to make some sort of decision by the end of the month.  Do we lower the price again?  Do we re-rent it?  Sean even kept asking 'do we move back?'.  But none of those felt like wise options for us.  We really had no direction but kept praying for some kind of wisdom on this enormous decision.  

Then, after much discussion and prayer, Sean ended his job with Anterra on December 20th.  We both made the decision that he needed to quit completely and devote this full attention to his new endeavor with Real Estate 100%.  It was a huge leap of faith for us, but at the time it felt right.  Of course, after the 20th came around, and I realized nothing was going to happen in RE for him during the holidays, I questioned our decision.  But what was done was done and I knew we just had to walk forward (and I still had peace that it was right).  

Our other issue of trust comes with having another person who is not our spouse or our child living in our home.  The longest we've ever had anyone live with us was 7 months and we have officially flown past that mark.  There is absolutely nothing personal in our struggle with this, but its simply that we've come to realize as being a very naturally difficult circumstance.  My brother in law is probably one of the easiest people you could ever live with, and yet it has effected us, both personally and in our marriage, in a way we didn't realize.  

So with all these things weighing heavier and heavier upon us with every passing week, we felt as though we were beginning to crumble.  Even I, for the first time since we've moved here, began to ask God if we were wrong in that decision.  I began to pray and ask if we had done something, or not done something, that had blocked his blessing on us moving out here, something of which we strongly felt Him calling us to do.  So if He called us out here and we responded with blind obedience, then where is the blessing??  All of these feelings and emotions kept stirring and rising within me.   (btw... He does not punish us because we may do or not do something outside of his will.  Just want to clarify that!  This was the struggle of our flesh to understand)  And through all of this, the Lord kept reminding me to trust Him.  One day I was talking to someone and I said "If only our house would sell, then we wouldn't have to worry about any of this (Sean changing jobs, bills, another baby on the way (I'll get to that), etc)".  And immediately I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me and say "that's why your house isn't going to sell yet".  And I knew, I was trusting in the wrong thing.  I was relying on the house selling and the equity being my provision to pay off debt, get us through the coming months of Sean's transition and prepare for a baby.  But GOD wants to be our provision!  HE wants to be the One whom we trust solely!  He wants us to be expectant upon Him and Him alone!  And that was the last time I said those words "if only the house would sell".  I knew, and believed, that He would provide a buyer and provide for our every need.

Just Trust Me.  It has been something I have not been able to shake.  Every time I would begin to worry, He would remind me again... and again... and again.  Just Trust Me.

At the end of December we had a light at the end of the tunnel.  The day after Christmas we received our first offer on our house in Cali!  A full price offer!!!!  With minimal requests and they wanted a 30 day or less escrow!!!  Praise God!  God had provided the money to pay a double mortgage for Oct-Dec.  Then I was like "what about January"?  And he provided that!  And then I was like "what about February?  No, Lord, it just HAS to sell before Feb 1st!"  And guess what?  We are set to close by the end of January!  He truly is so good and so faithful.  Sometimes he provides for weeks and months in advance and sometimes He provides for a day... and then another day.  But He always provides!  This year was starting out awesome!!  We had hope and excitement and could breathe for the first time in weeks!

But then January 8th came.  A day that was supposed to be an exciting day as it would end with us telling the world (our family and closest friends already knew) that we were expecting another baby July 10th 2014!!  A day that I was anxiously looking forward to.  A day that I wanted to come quickly so I could quiet every normal worry that all expectant moms have.  But instead it became the day I feared.  As Emery and I were waiting to hear the heartbeat, there was none.  And as we watched the ultrasound to confirm life, I knew, there was none.  This baby that God had gifted to me to carry and blessed us with for 13 weeks, was now comfortably in the arms of Jesus.  Something inside me knew this may happen.  It wasn't fear.  But a peace.  The same peace that kept speaking to me in December in the midst of the prevailing storm... Just Trust Me.   

We found out November 4th that I was pregnant!  I think Sean was shocked and knocked a little off his feet, but we were both so excited!  I wasn't too surprised because its something that I have felt so strong on my heart ever since we moved to Texas and I've been praying for a sibling for Emery as were some of my friends.  So I didn't even wait for my missed period but tested early because I just knew!  We waited a couple more weeks and then began telling family and a few friends.  I wanted to shout it to the world but you're always careful that first trimester.  And every time I would weaken and tell another friend, the excitement was also matched with the thought of "that's one more person I'll have to tell when...".  We all have these thoughts.  Its not unusual.  But each time the Lord would tell me "nothing can change my plan".  Every time I went on a run or worked out or ate something or did something that I thought "oh no! what if..." the Lord would say "nothing can change my plan".  And every time He saturated me in his loving peace.  And I would even think, in those moments, if the bad does happen, it's in His plan.  And nothing can change that.  He gave me peace even at the thought of losing this precious child.  Maybe for some, that wouldn't bring peace, but He kept covering me in His peace every time.  I knew I could trust Him no matter what, no matter the outcome!  So when this hit on Jan the 8th, I felt I had been a little prepared.  That He still has a plan for me.  That whatever it is, it is perfect and awesome!  Whatever His plan is for our family or for Emery, it is better than I could ever imagine.  

We found out on a Wednesday and I had a D&C under general anesthesia at Baylor University Hospital on Friday morning.  We are doing well overall.  My body has recovered tremendously quick with no lingering side effects. Praise God!  My heart is broken, but I'm resting in Him.  

These last two days since the procedure I have just felt like I was living in a dream for 2 months and now I've awakened and its back to life as usual.  It kind of feels like nothing happened.  The baby never was.  The procedure never took place.  But I know this is a time of recovery, not just for my body, but for my soul.  And I know the grief is still there, and we still have to walk through it.  But I know it will be okay.  I know we will be okay.  And there was a baby.  And I believe he was a son.  He will always be in my heart and on my mind.  My belly had just begun to grow a little.  I saw his heart beating at 5 weeks.  He was very real.  And he will always be the baby I never got to hold, but that I loved so quickly.  He is now healthy and whole in heaven with our moms and dads, our daughter Brianna and the first baby we miscarried.  

GOD IS SO GOOD

I say that because I know how grief goes and in a week or a month or maybe even on July 10th, I will need to see that again in big bold letters.  

On January 10th, the day of my d&c, our dear friend back home posted on her facebook....

"Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?" (Isaiah 43:19). God is doing a NEW THING in 2014. Meditate on that.

Sean saw it and showed it to me that morning after the procedure.  I love God's timing of speaking in and through us to each other.   I truly believe this Word for us for this year.  I came home on Wednesday after my appt, and spent some time with the Lord while Emery napped.  I journaled and prayed.  I thought I knew what my life was going to be consumed by this year.  A growing belly and then a brand new baby taking every last bit of energy from us! lol  But now.... My prayer is "Lord, what is YOUR VISION for me this year?  What new thing will you do in me?  Use me Lord!  Move me!"  This is not the end, but only the beginning.

The song Oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong has been playing in my heart for the whole month of December while we were struggling through this trusting season.  I told Sean this is our song.  And I really felt I had been living this out and it was becoming my prayer.  Even through the times of worrying as an expectant mom, it would come on the radio again and again.  Our church began singing this quite awhile back and then it began playing on the radio and I'm so glad, because it brings me back to where God has us.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

This last part is what I have felt this whole entire last 17 months has been for us.  What our life has been about.  We still have not seen exactly why God called us to Texas, but I still strongly know in my spirit there is a reason, and He is revealing it.  He is building our faith!
(and yet, even as I write this I am having a terrible time. It's not a good day.  Just keeping it real.  But the Word of God is true and fast and does not fail!!  And THAT'S what I stand on!!)

One thing that has been such a blessing to me the past few days is the way our friends and family have stepped up and been there for us.  I had friends back home, so precious to me, that have continually checked in on me.  They have been there for me in a way that I would not have imagined.  But God is so good to provide what we need!  The most amazing thing is, for a brief moment I thought "I wish I was back home".  But the Lord showed me how many amazing friends he has blessed me with right here that have been here for me in such a big way!  My heart longs for 'home', but this has definitely become home for me as well and I can embrace that.  God has brought some amazing people into my life.  And I'm so grateful, for both the old, and the new, sisters I have to share life with.  Thank you Jesus for each one!!  And thank you to each of you that bugged me endlessly to make sure I was doing okay.  I love you all so much!